“The heart decides, and what it decides is all that really matters.” – Paulo Coelho
As a teenager, suffering through the angst of star-crossed infatuations, I ran. Though not a runner then, not adept at sports, without the proper shoes, I’d run the dirt paths behind the horse pasture, round the fields of corn and alfalfa, dodging animal tracks and farmers. I’d often run away my worries, my frustrations, replacing them with a colorful imagination of the reality I wanted to exist. In college, I learned from my phys ed prof, dubbed “Lance” by the farm boys in my class, that it takes five years to make a habit a lifestyle. Seven years later, I’m still running. Running away my worries. Running away my frustrations, gaining a better perspective, creating a new reality.
This last few months, running has been my guidebook. Hours away from W for weeks at a time, too often feeling like an island of one, I’ve ran and made waffles. And been humbled. I have done things I didn’t think I could. I have stumbled and cried, been disrespected in small, countless ways, been left speechless. Hit roadblocks. I have laughed uncontrollably. I have pushed and stirred, over-analyzed, lost sleep, pulled a zillion gray hairs, and gone a bit mental.
I’ve been encouraged and let down. Too often, of my own subconscious volition, I stood at the edge of a circle looking in. Wanting to both jump towards acceptance and run towards a calling I cannot explain. Hours, weeks, months convincing myself to feel something that my heart long ago gave up. Getting close to the end, I worry again. I had a standard; did I uphold it? Did I demand all that I should have? Did I reach those that needed to be reached? Was there real progress made?
At the end of the day when I’m less frustrated, when my run is complete, and those waffles have been devoured, I reach for a broader perspective. In a tough position, I am making the most of it. I could do more. But my heart has decided, and what it decides…is all that really matters.
Recipe Updated: 5/7/2012 Dry Mix:
3/4 cup corn flour or finely milled cornmeal
3/4 cup gf flour mix, or all-purpose flour
3 Tbs. ground flaxseed
1 1/2 Tbs. brown sugar
1 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1 1/2 tsp. ground ginger
1/4 tsp. salt Wet Mix:
1/2 cup + 2 Tbs. (10 oz.) carrot juice, plus more if needed
1/2 cup + 2 Tbs. (10 oz.) orange juice, plus more if needed
1 1/2 Tbs. olive oil
zest of half an orange
- Turn the waffle iron on medium-high. Adjust as needed as cooking progresses.
- Sift the dry ingredients together in large bowl. Set aside.
- Whisk the wet ingredients together in a small bowl. Pour the wet mixture into the dry mixture.
- Brush the waffle iron with additional oil, as needed. Ladle out the batter and cook until fluffy and done.
- If available, top with freshly picked strawberries and yogurt, and savor over a cozy spring meal.