fruit – Page 11 – GUTSy Performance Nutrition

Who I Want to Be & Summer Brownies

July 2, 2013by RebeccaLeave a Comment

The smoke filled air instantly takes me back to standing in the smoking porch of a favorite pub, years ago now. Almost another life. I watch the dazed people look up from their gaming machines. They meander around as if possessed, plunking more cash into the slots. At the tables, the dealers’ hands flash and fluidly swoop up another round of cards. My sister, and then my friend, squeal when up a few and then subsequently moan when all of it is lost. The lady across the aisle sits reclined and relaxed, one elegant hand holding a long cigarette, the other poised on the ‘bet 5’ button. The woman two seats down banks $1,500 on a quarter machine. Her carefully contained delight emanates the space as she makes plans to see her friends there again within the week.

I delight in nothing more than watching these people, knowing this is not my place. I’m not a smoker. Or a gambler. Not necessarily even a drinker. Oddly enough, this place, this observational haven, reminds me of who I want to be.

W reminded me recently that how I see myself and how I present myself don’t always coordinate with each other. Analyzing this statement and realizing he’s correct got me thinking. I value authenticity, yet don’t always live authentically. Often when surrounded by family, I retreat into a shell and only show the pieces that can’t be so easily criticized. I camouflage how I truly feel because I think someone else will be aided by my self-sacrifice, or I long to avoid conflict and judgement.

As I sit surrounded by people delighting in only the next moment in a smoke-studded casino, I realize they don’t care what anyone else thinks. Heck, they don’t even care about what’s going on in their own lives in this moment. For the moment, they are all-in.

That’s who I want to be. A person that chooses to confront controversy, to embrace how I feel, to present the same person to the outside as I feel inside, despite another’s observation, perhaps in their eyes coming up short. To live a life that’s all-in every experience.

That’s what I did with these brownies. I wanted chocolate and nectarines, the ones on the counter going soft. Not in a pastry or cobbler or something usual. In something gooey and cakey. Yet still with a tinge of health and nutrients. I’m being true to myself now after all. My gluten-free flour blend has a bit of buckwheat in it so it has the fairest hint of a rustic tone, I threw in some honey from my uncle’s bees, a small zucchini, and used extra virgin olive oil. The result was exactly me. Exactly what I wanted to taste and share.

Summer Brownies with Zucchini and Nectarines, adapted from Happyolks

1 cup grated zucchini
2 cups grated, smashed or finely chopped nectarines with juice
3/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
1/2 cup honey
2 eggs
2 tsp vanilla extract
2.5 cups gluten free flour blend
1/2 tsp. xanthan gum
3/4 cup cocoa powder
3/4 tsp salt
2.25 tsp baking powder

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a 9 x 11 baking pan with a tsp of oil and set aside. Grate zucchini and dice nectarine and juice onto a cutting board.

In a large bowl, mix together oil, eggs, honey, and vanilla. Fold in the nectarine and zucchini. In a medium bowl, combine flour, cocoa, salt, and baking powder. Add the dry mixture to the wet mixture slowly, stirring to combine.

Bake for 30-45 minutes and let cool on a wire rack.

Spring, Summertime

Rhubarb Granola & Vanilla-Orange Rhubarb Sauce

June 18, 2013by RebeccaLeave a Comment

I did not grow up in a family of cooks. My favorite cooking memory with my grandma involved making pumpkin pie with the recipe from the back of the Libby’s can. She advised me to cut the spices in half. When I didn’t, she told me it was the best pumpkin pie she’d ever had and wondered what magical thing I had done.

My mom, bless her, taught me how to cook and then promptly let me loose in the kitchen to continue making years of dinner onward, up until I moved away. Whenever I’m home for a visit, the status quo is accepted without question. Perhaps out of survival, or because I’m an odd duck in this family of ranchers, I’ve been fascinated with food since before I was taught how to use a measuring cup. Knife skills were a self-educating adventure, and only when I come home am I reminded that I had no idea what I’d been missing out on all those years.

Sharp knives have never had a place in my mom’s kitchen. I ventured to stock her kitchen with one or two nice knives a few years back, though they’ve not been sharpened since. The rest of the knife drawer includes a random collection that couldn’t have cost more than five bucks a piece. Now that I know the wonders of a good knife, I shudder at slicing and dicing in my mother’s kitchen.

I am home with my parents and W for a few days, in between life ventures and to help celebrate my sister’s wedding. As much as I complain and paint an unfortunate picture, I love being home. I get to wake up to noise from family afoot. I get to sit in a sunny yellow room with windows on every wall, opening to a ranch scene of cows and pasture and rail fence and my favorite old barn, the one that is leaning a fair bit. I get to drink my tea in this room and enjoy breakfast with others. I can sit out on the front porch in the Adirondack chair and watch the day go by (more of the same scenery). I can do the same on the back patio. My favorite running route begins at this farmhouse. My old 4-H horse will run my direction for a rub when I call her from the edge of the pasture. I can bake sweets every day, knowing they won’t go to waste and I can start again with something new the next. I can be as adventurous as I like because if it has sugar in it, my dad will eat it. I can wander to the garden, and harvest what I want to eat.

My mother is an avid gardener, and there is always fresh produce in this season. Perhaps in part because I steal rhubarb every time I visit in the spring, my mom planted several more plants. She is a veritable rhubarb farmer now, as there is an excess that only someone who loves to spend time in the kitchen can begin to use up. That’s what I’m here for. Chopping thick stalks of rhubarb with a dull knife. Making rhubarb sauce and rhubarb granola.

There is nothing I love more than rhubarb and oats. Except perhaps the rhubarb yogurt pairing found in Ireland. Make sauce with honey and orange and vanilla. I’ve been making it all spring and dishing it up atop anything and everything. I like my sauce a touch on the tart side, but add as much honey as you like. The sauce is perfectly poised to take part in this lovely crunchy, chunky granola, which come to think of it, I may or may not share, because my dad, who also loves rhubarb, will have gone before I can blink!

Vanilla-Orange Rhubarb Sauce

a pot full of rhubarb, cleaned and chopped (approximately 8 big stalks)

1 Tbs. pure vanilla extract (or a vanilla bean if one can be sourced)

zest from one whole orange

3-4 Tbs. raw honey (or to taste)

Chop rhubarb and throw in a large pot. Add honey, orange zest, vanilla, and a touch of water for moisture. Bring to a low boil, and then simmer until the rhubarb has cooked down until thick and creamy. Take off the heat and let cool.

Rhubarb Granola

3 cups old-fashioned oats

1 1/2 tsp. pure vanilla extract

1/2 cup raw almonds, lightly toasted and chopped

1/2 cup raw Hazelnuts, lightly toasted and chopped

3 Tbs. extra virgin olive oil

3 Tbs. raw honey

about 3/4 cup Rhubarb Sauce

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. In a sauté pan, lightly toast almonds and Hazelnuts and then take off heat to cool slightly. Measure out three cups oats and pour into a mixing bowl. Measure out vanilla, honey, oil and rhubarb sauce. Mix until combined and then pour into oats. Add toasted nuts and mix until combined. Add more sauce as needed until the mixture is at the desired consistency. Spoon into a baking sheet and bake for about 15-20 minutes, stirring half way through.

Spring

Candied-Ginger Rhubarb Buckle

April 17, 2013June 18, 2022by Rebecca2 Comments

“It takes three things to succeed at that higher level, Rebecca: Intelligence, drive, and passion. There is no doubt you have the first two. But I question your passion. You’ve haven’t shown a true interest in anything…”

For the past three years, I have been almost-daily haunted by this statement from my major professor, stated during my masters defense. After all this time, tossing ideas back and forth, wandering semi-aimlessly in the desert of post-college jobs, I finally can see the pieces coming into focus. I’m slowly coming out of denial and attempting to own up to my dreams, my desires, yes, even my passions.

The clouds and the mist are evaporating slowly. The pieces are finally in focus. This is who I am. There’s a list of things that incite a fury of passionate opinion, cause a burst into dozens of directions, spinning my thoughts so fast the words cannot catch up. Because I’m not one to want to stop once I’ve gotten started, I am longing to shove the remaining clouds out of my way, jam the puzzle pieces together and get to living “passionately.” Finally.

The pieces won’t fit. Fury, disenchantment, resentment. The edges are all mismatched and wrong. I know I’m getting there. But the process is so blasted slow. Come on, I’m thinking. And then I return to the two mantras that continue to keep me going: “Don’t push the river,” a Zen phrase. And a piece of Fr Ignacio’s homily from years ago: “When you ask and there’s no answer, just keep rowing.”

Rowing. And rowing and rowing. Waiting. Listening. Still here, doing the same. Watching the seasons change. Embracing each new one as it comes, trying to not focus on the speed of passing time and the status quo. Meanwhile, I’ll make rhubarb buckle. Candied ginger. Spring. Embracing one of those passions that three years ago, I was too afraid to share. There’s progress, after all.

Candied-Ginger Rhubarb Buckle, adapted from Dishing Up Oregon
Recipe Updated: June 2022

For the Crumb:
1/4 cup gluten-free flour
1/4 sugar
1/4 cup finely chopped candied ginger
2 Tbs. raw coconut oil, melted

For the Buckle:
1 3/4 cups gluten-free flour
2 tsp. ground ginger
1 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 cup (4 0z.) raw coconut oil, softened slightly
1/2 cup sugar
2 eggs
3/4 cup non-dairy milk mixed with 1 tsp. white vinegar
3/4 lb. rhubarb, cleaning and sliced into 1/2-inch slices

Make the candied ginger crumb. Mix the flour, sugar, and candied-ginger into a small bowl. Mix in the melted coconut oil with spoon until nice and crumbly. Cover and chill in the fridge until ready to use.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Coat a 9-inch round cake dish with a thin layer of oil. Set aside.
Make the buckle. Whisk the flour, ginger, baking soda, baking powder, and salt together in a small bowl. Set aside.
Cream the remaining coconut oil together with the sugar, until light and fluffy. Mix in the eggs.
Add the milk and flour mixture, alternating between the two, until mixture is just combined. Gently fold in the rhubarb.
Spoon batter into the prepared cake pan. Sprinkle the candied-ginger crumb evenly over the batter. Bake until the top is golden and firm, about 45 minutes. Cool approximately 30 minutes prior to serving.