Winter – Page 26 – GUTSy Performance Nutrition

Honey-Amaranth Waffles with Spiced Pears

February 21, 2016October 25, 2022by Rebecca3 Comments

I woke up at 4:30 again this morning with a head full of words needing to come out. I proceeded to write solidly for over two hours before walking away, thinking all I had written needed to be shared.

Given the heaviness of what I’ve already shared in this space these last few days, weeks, and months, and the miraculous way that my lightness of being directly correlates with letting heavy thoughts go, those words may make their way into this space yet.

For now, I’d like to just settle my mind down and get cozy with high-vibe breakfast things, like waffles. And then, try to take a nap.

The Recipe Redux this month is all about breaking out of breakfast boredom and these waffles are one of the ways I’ve been doing that lately. Like a lot of people, I go through phases with breakfast meals, and the current one, hot porridge, has been going steady for four+ years.

But for the last month I’ve been revisiting my favorite waffles most Monday mornings. I generally have nothing planned for Mondays except to fill my brain with scientific literature and APA formatting for eight solid hours, as I’ve got the day off from work and it’s full of school instead. I’ve found that eating these is a great way to start the week.

The recipe for these waffles was a work in progress for about a year and a half after gluten and dairy were removed from my diet, and though I made a lot of different flavor combinations throughout my year teaching (comfort food after a stressful day, I suppose), these are the ones that became my go-to once that phase ended. I like them because the amaranth flour lends an earthy flavor, they’re almost entirely whole-grain, and they have just enough sweetness to need no extra sugar poured on top. All of this is my sort of thing because half the time waffles are more of a dinner item and I don’t like the idea of sugar and starch for my evening meal. I also can’t handle sugar for breakfast, so there’s that as well.

If you haven’t tried amaranth before, it is technically a tiny-seed pseudograin, like quinoa. In fact, the two are related botanically and share many characteristics. Historically, amaranth was very important to the ancient Aztecs. Nutritionally, it is one of the highest-quality grains to add to your diet and is especially useful for individuals who do a lot of physical work, athletes, infants, children, and pregnant and nursing women. I like it because it is a good source of calcium and an excellent source of iron, and has more protein than most other grains. Even though its nutritional effects are minimal in these waffles, adding more amaranth to meals cannot hurt. Flavor-wise, I find that amaranth goes particularly well with autumn and winter fruits, like pears, and I prefer that combination over anything savory I’ve tried.

This recipe is inspired by Kim Boyce’s Honey-Amaranth Waffles in Good to the Grain, but is now so far removed that I can’t say they’re anything like her original. If you have no reason to avoid gluten, use whole-wheat pastry flour in place of the gluten-free, and if using your own gluten-free flour mixture, keep in mind that mine is 70 percent whole-grain by weight and has 10 percent buckwheat flour, which is another stronger flavor.

How do you break up the breakfast boredom?

Honey-Amaranth Waffles with Spiced Pears, makes 3
Recipe Updated: 10/25/22

3 Tbs. ground flax, separated
3 Tbs. warm water
1 cup non-dairy milk
1 tsp. apple cider vinegar
2 Tbs. amaranth flour
1 cup all-purpose gluten-free flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. baking soda
a pinch of salt
1 1/2 Tbs. honey
1 Tbs. (untoasted) sesame oil, melted + additional for the waffle iron

To Finish:
1 pear, chopped into a large dice
1/4 cup water
1/8 tsp. ground ginger
1/16 tsp. each cinnamon, nutmeg, cardamom and black pepper
pinch of ground cloves
unsweetened non-dairy yogurt, optional
pomegranate molasses, if you’d like an extra fancy drizzle of sweetness atop

Directions:

Turn the waffle iron to a medium-high setting. In a small dish, whisk 1 Tbs. ground flax with the 3 Tbs. water. Set aside to form a thick slurry. In a liquid measuring cup, stir the milk together with the vinegar, and allow to curdle slightly.
In a large bowl, stir the remaining dry ingredients together.
Combine the oil and honey, and then add them to the milk along with the flax slurry. Whisk the liquids briefly to make sure they’re uniform, and then pour them atop the dry ingredients.
Stir the batter lightly. Depending on the day and air moisture, a little extra liquid may need to be added.
Brush the waffle iron with a small amount of additional sesame oil, and then ladle 3/4 cup of batter onto the iron. Cook until the indicator light tells you it’s done, or a quick peek shows a golden-brown color.
Remove from the iron, and plate up, along with a spoonful or two of yogurt and a pile of spiced pears.
For the pears: In a small saucepan over medium-high heat, combine the diced pears, water, and spices. Once they begin to really cook, turn down the heat to a low simmer, cover, and cook until they are soft and beginning to be a little syrupy. This can all happen while waiting for those waffles to cook.

References:

Boyce, B. (2010). Good to the Grain: Baking with Whole-Grain Flours. New York, NY: Stewart, Tabori & Chang.

Pitchford, P. (2002). Healing with Whole Foods: Asian Traditions and Modern Nutrition. Berkeley, CA: North Atlantic Books.

Journal, Winter

big enough to live in

February 20, 2016February 20, 2016by RebeccaLeave a Comment

Lately, I’ve been exploring a concept that was pointed out to me several years ago, that I push people away, that I hold others at a distance, that my bubble is big and I take a lot of careful measures to keep others out of it, including the individuals closest to me. Vulnerability is particularly challenging and the more personal the share, the more anxious and uncomfortable I become. I have a number of friends that I’ve had for years, and I still feel like they barely know me because I can’t seem to share the things that really matter with them. I carefully keep conversations at the surface-level even though I hate surface-level conversations. And I often feel very much alone, starving for a meaningful interaction that doesn’t leave me feeling partially empty for what it could have been, even though I am often the one responsible for the conversations’ missing components.

Ultimately, I feel alone in my experiences most of the time with no one to say yes, me too, when I share my challenges. And that makes me close up a little more, shove people a little further outside of my space, and seek solace in insulating, because rejection, even in the form of indifference, is especially painful. When William tells me he loves me, I often ask him why, because I rarely feel lovable. I’m well aware I have selfish tendencies, and I often wallow in the mindset that being alone in my experience is my lot in life. A few weeks ago, during one of those interactions, William looked me directly in the eyes, and said, you are extremely loveable. but you are very hard to love. you won’t let people in. For the first time maybe, I saw the truth in his statement.

In one of my classes this term, I’ve learned about the illness narrative, how our reality is made up of the stories we tell of ourself, how we word our world. Dianne Connelly, the university’s cofounder, asks, Is your story big enough to live in? It is a question that has been on my mind these past weeks.

During the holiday season of 2006, my sophomore year in college, I came home for the break, deeply unhappy and isolating. My parents were worried about me and my mom would have done anything to bring a smile to my face. Though I knew this, it wasn’t enough to help. I went to the gym one day and after returning, she asked me, Did you have fun? I lifted my shoulders indifferently. Truthfully, physical activity was one of the only things that brought joy at the time, but it didn’t lift the looming shadow of what I was going through, of the consequences of pushing people away, of feeling alone. She exasperately asked, What will make you happy?

Years later, William shared a conversation he’d had about me with my dad. As it turns out, most of my immediate family are like me, afraid to show and discuss vulnerable things, and I learned long ago that doing so results in complete silence, that indifference which feels a lot like rejection. Because of this, I’ve slowly stopped sharing much at all with them over the years. In the interaction with Will, my dad told him, I don’t care what she does as long as she is happy.

There it was again, that feeling which has long seemed so elusive.

Even though much of what I write about sometimes feels a little too gray, a little too dark, I can say I’ve never been depressed in the clinical sense. I rarely feel low for more than a couple hours at a time. Realistically, I often experience happiness; when I spend time in my faith, when serving others, when teaching, when running, when deeply intrenched in good music, and when writing. Basically, I’m happy all the time when living in the present moment.

Yet I cling to another story, of being unhappy, of being alone, of being not good enough, of being unable to, of being unlovable, of being cold, of being destined for some ultimate tragic ending. And so I ask myself, Is that story big enough to live in?

I think it’s about time I rewrite the pages.

February 21st-27th is National Eating Disorders Awareness Week (#NEDAwareness Week). It also happens to be lent, my favorite season in the Catholic liturgical year. I’m working on being less isolating this year, and reading The Sevel Levels of Intimacy by Matthew Kelly. I’ll likely be continuing to share more on the topic of my eating disorder and intimacy in the coming weeks. Much of it is challenging stuff. Other than practicing my faith and writing, I’ve done much of my really deep healing through music, and my current playlist is below. If you’ve read this far and continue reading, thank you. I truly appreciate it.

Journal, Winter

winter meals + reading

February 14, 2016February 14, 2016by RebeccaLeave a Comment

I engaged in a little spontaneous five-o’clock social hour at the co-op last Friday and realized I may never get over my fear of people judging what’s in my grocery cart. And what I mean to say is I’ve long had people comment (probably admirably so) how healthy I eat. Those comments might seem harmless but are not helpful. Regardless, it was a truly pointless fear at the co-op because when you’re chatting about getting garden produce on school lunch trays in the bulk bins, or the difference between natural food stores between C and E, there is no one around judging the contents of my cart. What’s more, it’s likely no one else at any other grocery store really cares all that much either. This was a lesson in Not That Big Of Deal Lady, and Needless Fears 101.

Second, I’m taking an introductory cooking lab for school right now. It covers the basics of cooking with whole foods and I wasn’t expecting to learn much. We started with knife skills last week and prepared the simplest side of caramelized onions with matchstick carrots and sauteed greens. There were no additional spices beyond a little salt and pepper, and I had to resist fancying it up. The results were truly fabulous as the flavor of the fresh vegetables showed through and I was reminded of the experiences that led me to eating seasonal produce and whole foods, the simplicity of those meals that called to me, and how I continually desire to go “back to basics” with food and life, and invite in more minimalism.

And then we had dinner last night at some slighty-new-to-me friends who served a truly exceptional fancy-restaurant quality meal. I already knew what to expect as one of them is William’s coworker and he stayed at their house and was treated to those meals weekly last year. The meal was the exact opposite of what I described above and as I sipped the winter squash soup, I thought to myself, I’ve got to get on board with fancier cooking. This is way more delicous that any soup I’ve made. It was super fun to chat with friends who are into good food. It was also different, because though I consider myself quite adventurous, I was the less adventurous one at the table last night. I don’t go out of my way to try new things I view as not that necessary, overly processed, or too-exotic (i.e. vegan cheese, most dairy alternatives, specialty spices, most vegetables that are not in season locally). Some of this is because I lean towards minimalism in meals, a lot of it is because I avoid foods that were produced in factories or in far away places where I imagine soil degradation and inhumane working practices (yes, my mind goes there), and some of it is because I harbor a little bit of shame about fancier cooking. Frugality was an essential component to meals growing up. I feel a little elitist sometimes in prioritizing local and organic ingredients and getting too fancy with additions most people haven’t heard about or tried before. I’m still trying to find balance. And maybe I’ve found balance but when I start to overthink it, I get out of balance?

With that, I’ve read and enjoyed many good articles and meals since we moved, and a few of my favorites are below:

Reading:

I went to high school with Tommy. He was a little older and we didn’t really know each other, but even then I remember him as the goofy runner dude in my speech class. His share about his win at the Rock n Roll Arizona Marathon is super inspiring.

Gena Hamshaw’s 5 Tips for Balanced Eating. Gena continues to inspire me and I resonate much with what she shares.

No diet, no detox: how to relearn the art of eating. I’ve been reading a fair bit about food relationships lately. This article was a good one.

Nourishing Wisdom. This book is super great! I’m still making my way through.

My biggest vegan challenge was one I didn’t expect. This article about the challenges and disconnect of navigating meals with family and friends when following a specialized diet is a discussion worth highlighting. I still haven’t truly figured out what works for me with my own family and friends and I’ve been eating very differently than most of them for a number of years.

You already have everything you need.

Zen Habits-Let Everything Breathe

Eating:

Meal planning and prep has gotten super streamlined these last few weeks and it has revolutionized late evenings after a long day. There have been so many good meals and most of them are either old or new favorites. I keep a laundry list of meals I want to eat on my computer and many of these have been made and then go right back onto the list. William also initiated one night a week as his night to decide, plan, prep, and cook. It’s kinda sweet, but mostly he’s not so into winter squash and would like to limit how many meals I work it into. :)

Moroccan Wild Rice with Butternut Squash + Garbanzos

Garden Keepers’ Pie

Sprouted Mung Bean Salad inspired by Heidi

Millet Polenta + BBQ Lentils

Butternut Mac + Cheese, Food52Vegan

Creamy Pasta with Leeks + Broccoli, Food52 Vegan

Cumin-Lime, Quinoa + Black Bean Bowls

Shaved + Curried Cauliflower Salad

Smoked Paprika Vegetable Chowder + Orange Zest

These Black Beans. I’ve mentioned them a zillion times. They make all meals delicious.

Root Veg + Garbanzo Pot Pie, Food52 Vegan

Broccoli, Collards + Kalamata Salad

This weekend, we’re enjoying cookies. I’ve somehow managed to avoid every sort of mainstream store in the past few weeks, so have missed all the marketing of chocolate, hearts, and balloons. I feel not one inch of regret. We first made these Jam + Sunflower Thimbles for Christmas and they’re worthy of a special occasion/sharing with friends.