Journal – Page 15 – GUTSy Performance Nutrition

early autumn collard wraps with beet hummus, orange quinoa salad + apple slices

October 1, 2016by Rebecca3 Comments

I cooked my first winter squash this week, a delicata from the garden. I added it into the lovely split pea, rhubarb and apple soup from Vegetarian Everyday/Green Kitchen Stories. I sipped a rendition of Izy’s autumn-spiced coffee, planted purple sprouting broccoli for a late winter/early spring harvest, and kicked the heat on to a measly 62 degrees in the house. It ran almost all day while I wore my down vest and a blanket and powered through week four of term three–grad school life; the workload is intense; it calls for blankets and my first coffee in well over a year–and yet I love it. I’ve scheduled myself to take one-two days off from the material right now and I still wake up on those mornings ready to dive back in.

It’s safe to say summer is well on its way out. Ever the seasonal sleeper, I’m waking much later in the mornings. And catching up on processing my recent transition out of school garden education. I also began writing in more detail about my experience with running, eating disorder recovery, faith, and mental health in general–topics that might be a little too intense here. If you first came to this blog for those posts, feel free to read more on my new blog. Otherwise, below are a sampling of the many short and longer reading I’ve enjoyed these past months, a couple podcast episodes I feel are worth sharing, and a few seasonal meals we’ve been enjoying.

Reading
How to Build an Empire
The Salkantay Trek to Machu Piccho: perspective + privilege

David has been cooking with and sharing/photodocumenting the stories of Syrian refugees in Turkey this last week. It is a beautiful experience, important to share, and I think relates a lot to the point made by Ashlae, above.

Why I haven’t weighed myself in 2 1/2 years
The Starvation Study that Changed the World, I’m still reflecting on these last two but they are both well worth reading in terms of body image, eating, and/or weight struggles.

Longer Reading
Food and Healing by Annemarie Colbin. I just finished. I loved it.

Listening to
Up Your Game
How to Cultivate Non-Judgment
Andrew Wheating on Strengthening Your Winning Muscle (I’ve listened to this on repeat for weeks!)

Seasonal Eating–Basically, I only want to eat Moroccan or Middle Eastern flavors and/or eggplants so we’ve been enjoying these:
Moroccan Eggplant Mini-Galettes with Chickpeas + Harissa
Moroccan Tagine with Sweet Potatoes + Beets
Roasted Vegetable Pizza
Eggplant & Olive Caponata
We also enjoyed the Eggplant Meatballs from Love & Lemon’s new cookbook at a friend’s last weekend. They were delicious.
And I’m eating all the pears from my favorite pear farmer and these Chai-Spiced Pear Oats, daily.

early autumn collard wraps with beet hummus, orange quinoa salad + apples, makes 4
Every once in a while I get a craving for collard wraps, always with beets and a grain salad of sorts and perhaps some fruit. Wrapped up tight, they make for a delicious and nourishing lunch. This version is inspired by a recipe in Vegetarian Everyday with my own beet hummus (still delicious and addicting), thinly sliced crunchy apples, and locally grown chickpeas.

1-2 batches Beet Hummus
1 cup quinoa
1 tsp. fennel seeds
zest and juice of 1/2 an orange
1/2 cup raisins
1/2 cup toasted, chopped walnuts
2-3 spring onions or baby leeks, thinly sliced
2-4 Tbs. minced parsley
sea salt, to taste
2 cups cooked chickpeas
8 large collard green leaves
3-4 small apples, thinly sliced

To make the quinoa salad, bring 2 cups water and quinoa to a boil in a small pot. Add the fennel seeds, turn down to a simmer, cover and cook for 15-20 minutes. Set aside to cool.
Add orange juice and zest, raisins, walnuts, leeks or spring onions, parsley and salt to the quinoa.
To assemble the wraps, trim the base of the stem off the collard leaves and take a serrated knife and thinly shave down the remaining stem, getting it to the same thickness as the rest of the leaf. Then soften the leaves by either drenching in warm water briefly or heating in the microwave for a few seconds.
For each wrap, arrange two collard leaves head to foot, overlapping them halfway. Spread a generous amount of beet hummus, then quinoa salad, garbanzos, and finally a few apple slices in the center. Fold over each end, tuck one side under, and roll tightly like a burrito. If it’s in danger of coming apart, use a few toothpicks to hold it together, and slice in half.
Continue as above to create the remaining three wraps. There should be apple slices leftover which are great eaten on the side.

Journal, Summertime

Blackberry Hazelnut Butter Oatmeal

July 18, 2016by Rebecca3 Comments

I had a realization yesterday over my morning bowl of oats about how I have spent so much of my life worrying and anxious about the future and so little of it enjoying the day, the experience, and the moment. I have nothing positive to show for all the time spent on those worries. For the past few weeks, when anxiety and racing, circling thoughts start to grip me, as they often do, I’ve tried to take more of a noticing approach, and on some days, can consciously catch myself before my mind jumps in to the chaos, take a couple slow deep breaths, and remind myself the only thing I need to do is direct all of my attention into focusing on the task at hand.

In a similar way, I’ve also been working on eating with mindfulness more often, especially in the morning over porridge. I tend to be a floor person and spend the majority of my “down” time at home on the floor instead of in a chair or the couch. I really enjoy eating my porridge on the floor, sitting cross-legged in front of the big window in our main room, as I watch the morning grow brighter or with the sun warming my face. When I sit and eat slowly without distractions, looking out at the trees and watching the neighbor cats, I begin to experience the connection again, to taste the subtle sweetness and richness of the berries, the texture of the oats, and the hint of hazelnuts. I miss the subtle flavors when I eat it mindlessly while multi-tasking or when in an anxious “what’s next/what if” state of mind.

We enjoyed a wine tasting/sampling at a friend’s party over the weekend and we savored and made notes on six different rosé wines, trying to guess the country, price range, and style. I rarely drink and when I do it’s often in small amounts at social occasions like these, but I really appreciate the act of tasting wine or cider in this way, slowly, with a focus on the whole process: tasting the beginning, middle, and ending notes and picking out the subtle hints of flowers, of cherries, of chocolate, etc.

Good food has complexity and deep flavors much like good wine or cider does–especially this time of year. Why don’t we appreciate it in the same way more often?

With my intention (again) this week being to focus on the task at hand, I’m going to put more emphasis on extending mindfulness to eating the meals I get to enjoy–and try to return to just eating each time my mind darts off in another in the future direction again.

Blackberry Hazelnut Butter Oatmeal, makes 1 bowl

1 cup water

1/2 cup old-fashioned oats, gluten free if necessary

1 cup blackberries or boysenberries

1/2-1 Tbs. hazelnut butter, to taste

dash of salt

dash of cinnamon, if desired

sweetener of choice, if needed

In a small saucepan over high heat, bring the water to a boil. Pour in the oats, give the pan a gentle shake to distribute them in the water, and then turn to medium low.
Cook until almost done, about five minutes, and then stir in the berries.
Allow the berries to either meld completely in and cook down a bit, which will take a few minutes longer and have more of a jammy texture, or simply let them heat just a bit without breaking down.
Stir in the hazelnut butter, salt and cinnamon and heat just a minute or so longer.
Remove from the heat, allow to sit a moment to develop more flavor and pour into a serving bowl. Depending on the berries, top with your sweetener of choice as needed.

Journal, Spring

more than cookies – Oatmeal Raisin Cookies {gf / vegan}

July 10, 2016February 8, 2025by Rebecca1 Comment

The Track + Field Trials have been going on in town these last couple weeks and I originally intended to meet a bunch of Oiselle ladies, go on a group run or two, and generally engage (a little) in the festivities. This is part of my 2016 doing-the-hard-things mission of showing up, getting involved, and not hiding with the areas I’d like to do more but feel unworthy of–like being part of a more supportive community.

Instead, I have been tapering and then recovering from a race, feeling a little run-down like I’m fending off a summer cold, in deep with my two summer classes, and commuting to and fro work. I haven’t felt like being social and using up excess energy to meet new people and navigate crowds. So I’ve been hunkering down in my little corner of the city, not venturing beyond it.

It has felt a little like hiding but also necessary to preserve my energy, do some reflecting, practice breathing, journaling, and listening to what I need.

I was asked a couple weeks ago to be the leader of the local food action team I’m a part of in Corvallis and after considering it for quite some time, I agreed. It was a decision made with a lot of mixed feelings because the group is a part of a city I no longer reside in, likely won’t be working in much longer, and generally miss a lot. Eugene and I have had some growing pains, i.e. I’ve checked out most of the super-local trails, the too-crowded farmers market, and the little grocery store we prefer to shop in for local goods. I’ve ignored more than a few unnecessary comments while running, felt a little unsafe some days on the bike path, and almost stopped using my GPS to go new places. At this point, it feels like the next step for me in this new place is to simply show up for opportunities to create and be a part of the community. Instead, I find myself avoiding the Eugene farmers markets, run meet-ups, and yoga invitations, shopping in Corvallis or on the farm there directly instead, and putting my energy and ideas into how to promote local food in Corvallis, in what still is my community, no matter my current address.

In times when more self-care is needed, like this last week, I often use my relationship with food and body image as a barometer for how I’m doing. As I’ve shared before, eating with the source of my food in mind has helped me to have a better relationship with my body, to not focus so much on good/bad, too much/too little, and stress about controlling all the variables. Since moving, I haven’t done such a good job of this. Relocating to a new city is stressful and adjustments are hard–my mind has often resorted back to the things that it (thinks) it can control, food, calories, amounts, and my body. More than ever, I’m conscious of it these days and trying hard to stay gentle, to be kind with myself, to forgive, and to understand that there will be both good and bad days. I will eat too much. I will eat too little. I will listen to what I need and I’ll ignore it. This is normal eating and that’s okay.

One thing that is good practice is experimenting with baked goods. I’ve been experimenting with a good oatmeal raisin cookie that’s gluten free, dairy free, and enjoyable by all for going on ten months now. I don’t make them too often, once a month or less, and mostly on days I need some baking therapy. Thankfully, William loves my cookies and also shares them at work. The tweaks have been quite small lately and because I’m a perfectionist, I’ve been slow to call time on this experiment. The thing about baking is that I do have a sweet tooth but I eat a lot more fruit than other sweet things and refined sugar often hits my system like a drug. It feels like a trip that I do not necessarily enjoy, even as the first hit goes down real nice and I initially want more-more-more. Then my body says please do not feed me this- you’re making my mind crazy anxious. It is why I don’t eat or share many true desserts anymore.

The practice of baking is good though because it repeatedly allows me to ask myself what do I really want before taking a bite. Do I want a cookie? If not, what am I desiring? Am I being a little too obsessive about health and putting negative labels on treats? Most of the time, I choose something else or have one cookie and an apple. Sometimes, I have three cookies or two giant slices of birthday cake and try not to overthink it. It is okay to indulge once in a while. My body needs more (care/support/kindness/food) than I ever aim to give it. Thankfully I’m learning to feel what it needs, honor that, forgive, and ignore the thoughts that lead to disorder a little more as time goes on.

It’s not always easy to know and trust my own motives. I’m learning. I fail a lot.

Prior to starting this cookie project, I hadn’t had an oatmeal raisin cookie in years, basically because I’m a giant snob and have found only one person who makes gluten-free, dairy-free cookies I consider worthy of eating (ahem, me). William is also a cookie snob and he has no dietary constraints or prejudices about trying all the cookies. A few weeks back I decided to tweak another version and in the process found I’d ran out of the main type of sugar I was planning to use. Thus, this version was born. William decided it is the keeper recipe and after eating half the batch, he gifted me with what I consider to be the best anniversary gift by casually mentioning, You make the best cookies: the flavor, the texture, they’re perfectly baked, everything. And I know cookies. I eat a lot of them.

Even if I like the idea of eating cookies more these days than actually eating them, I’ll take the compliment. I’ll take the practice of baking and experimenting, I’ll continue asking the tough questions, being open-minded, and being a little more open about the process.

Oatmeal Raisin Cookies, makes ~ 2 1/2 dozen
Recipe Updated: 2/9/25

Recipe Notes: I have only experimented with my own flour mix. It is 70% whole-grain by weight and contains 10% buckwheat flour. Though it comes to a small amount, we really love the addition of buckwheat to cookies.

2 Tbs. ground flax seed
6 Tbs. water
1 1/4 cups gluten-free flour mix
2 cups quick oats, gluten-free as needed
1 tsp. cinnamon, optional
1/4 tsp. nutmeg, optional
2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. sea salt
2/3 cup coconut oil
2/3 cup brown rice syrup or maple syrup
2 tsp. pure vanilla extract
3/4 cup raisins

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
In a small bowl, whisk the ground flax seeds and water to form a slurry. Set aside.
In a large mixing bowl, stir together all the dry ingredients and then set aside.
In a liquid measuring cup, whisk together the oil, brown rice syrup, and vanilla. Then mix in the flax slurry.
Pour the liquids into the dry ingredients and stir together until combined. Then mix in the raisins.
Using a medium cookie scoop or a spoon, drop onto a baking sheet or stone and bake for 12-14 minutes, depending on your oven.