Autumn – Page 23 – GUTSy Performance Nutrition

to go on

September 13, 2015October 12, 2017by Rebecca4 Comments

I can’t go on. I’ll go on. – Samuel Beckett

We were headed back from the coast last weekend and I had been admiring the views and the changing season when I looked out and realized it is September(!) and I suddenly saw not the slow slide of summer into fall but the trajectory of my life these last few months. I realized that I have been so busy feeling my way through this year that I haven’t been able to truly see the world around me, much like that summer I was in Ireland for the second round and one of my co-interns spent so much of her time capturing the experience on her camera that she never stopped to appreciate the views beyond her lens. When I look up and out, it is so easy to feel and see the change in season right now, and as we drove back into town last weekend, there was a bittersweet sadness hanging in the air. This and the last few posts have reflected that bittersweet vibe, as I’ve been sharing bigger matters that have sat heavy with me this year.

One of these is whether I’m even writing a food blog anymore. I have always had more of an interest in talking about life in this space than in hyper-focusing on the food. Over the course of the last few months, I’d like to think I’ve been doing more of that and through the process become more honest in sharing the bigger things that matter. As I’ve done so, I have contemplated moving away from sharing food at all because it often doesn’t seem to go with the message I’m conveying. I think about my readers too. What do you want from this space? Why do you come here? How much is too much information? And I think about why I began the site, to share life and food.

Food is important to me. I love learning about it. I love talking about it. I really like helping others with it. And if you are newer here, if you read back to this post, you’ll see the making and partaking in food is so much more to me than finding peace through this year’s challenges or in fueling life on the run. All my interests, joys, and even problems circulate and intersect in and around food. And though I’ll chatter your ear off in actual conversation until you politely ask me to shut up about it, I don’t particularly enjoy writing about food in this space anymore.

In a recent conversation with a friend, the topic of my eating disorder and food came up and I shared, It’s not about the food. Just like every person has his or her tools or mediums with which to create a life (or destroy it), my strengths–and also weaknesses–are both food and words. Like my eating disorder, this space seems to be about food but is also not about food.

Inevitably, I have opted to continue with the recipe sharing because when I talk about the highs and lows of life here, I share the meals that feed my soul through the process, recipes that hold meaning not because they have this or that ingredient in or out, not because of any label or food trend but because they are simply feeding me through this life. I’ve considered deleting posts which I think are silly now or old recipes that I no longer partake in, but those too are all part of my experience. Those meals, like the more recent ones, fed me through those ventures into becoming the better person I am today. For that alone, I want to have them recorded.

In this transition of seasons, I too feel as if I’m wading through a big life transition. As I take a deeper and bigger-picture look at my trajectory, as I sort through my life and organize my thoughts around the point of this space, I want to share with both the readers who have held on for the long haul and those that are just jumping in, the basic reason for this blog hasn’t particularly changed. It is a space where I can use my creative tools to share real life more honestly; to go on, when a part of me is actually afraid to share what I really feel, is afraid to move into life’s changing seasons, is often frustrated and saying simply, I cannot go on.

When I am standing fearfully on one of life’s cliffs, not ready to jump yet somehow poised for whatever the next adventure brings, when I am at the point where I begin to question everything, when my mind wants to give up and fight like hell simultaneously, that is when I know I am right where I need to be. I will get through this changing season and I’ll be better for the challenge with which it came. I will be glad too that I was willing to share the experience here, rather than waffling on about some random ingredient.

After all, isn’t this life little more than the accumulation of these daily lessons and joys, of conversations and meals good and bad, of being vulnerable, of putting plans into action and seeing hard work pay off, or spinning wheels in useless worrying which we can’t seem to move on from, until, for whatever reason, we do?

Two-Tone Fennel + Pistachio Zucchini Bread

This zucchini bread has been a work in progress for many years and I’ve held off on publishing because every recipe, like the most vulnerable blog posts, is not quite ready to share. Originally adapted from a Cook’s Illustrated recipe, it has taken on a life of its own with the switch to quinoa, brown rice, and almond flours, two types of summer squash, fennel seeds, and pistachios. It is the type of recipe that feels right in this (nearly there) return to cooler days and comforting foods season, and it’s likely my last bout with zucchini this summer. My plants have been producing steadily since mid-June and they’re telling me their time has nearly come. Onwards!

1 lb. zucchini and yellow summer squash, (about 2 medium or 3 small)
2 Tbs. ground flax seeds
6 Tbs. hot water
3/4 cup sugar
1 cup quinoa flour
3/4 cup brown rice flour
1/2 cup almond flour
1/4 cup tapioca starch
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. allspice
1/2 tsp. salt
2 tsp. fennel seeds
1/4 cup plain non-dairy yogurt (I used unsweetened coconut)
1 Tbs. apple cider vinegar
3 Tbs. coconut oil
1/4 cup toasted pistachios, chopped

Heat the oven to 350 degrees F. Oil and flour the bottom and sides of a 9 x 5-inch loaf pan.
Shred the mixture of zucchini and yellow squash on the large holes of a box grater and then transfer to a fine-mesh strainer set over a bowl. Allow to drain for 20-30 minutes.
Meanwhile, mix the ground flax seeds with the hot water in a small dish and set aside to form a thick slurry.
In a medium bowl, whisk the flours, baking powder and soda, salt, cinnamon, allspice, fennel seeds, half the pistachios, and 1/2 cup sugar together. Set aside.
After the zucchini has drained, squeeze it dry between several layers of paper towels. Mix the dried zucchini with the yogurt and apple cider vinegar in a small bowl. Set aside.
Beat the remaining 1/4 cup sugar and coconut oil with a whisk in a large bowl until light and fluffy. Add the flax slurry and incorporate well. Add half the flour mixture and half the zucchini mixture and mix until just incorporated. Add the remaining flour and zucchini and mix once more until the mixture just comes together.
Scrape the batter into the prepared loaf pan and sprinkle the top with the remaining pistachios. Bake until the loaf is golden brown and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out with just a few crumbs attached, about 55 minutes. Cool the bread in the pan for 10-15 minutes, then tranfer the loaf to a wire rack. Serve warm or at room temperature, or once cool, slide into the fridge for a day or two, as the flavors really develop overnight.

Autumn, Winter

Beets, Tahini, Flatbread + Lentils

December 15, 2014January 9, 2017by Rebecca4 Comments

Shannon and Anneke walked in to the kitchen and immediately curled their noses. Bec! You’re stinking up the house. After lifting the lid on the pot, they were even more disgusted. Beets! Gross!

An hour later, Shannon at least, was singing a different tune: I love beets! Beets, beets, beets. Let’s eat beets. For months afterwards, the subject of beets made their way into many a conversation, joke, and non-sensical late night roommate Facebook exchange. They even made their way into our school life as Shannon and I sat in our farming class plotting how to make more money than all the other students on our hypothetical farm. Our proposed course of action was growing and selling beets, of course.

I have long since forgotten what sort of meal became of the beets that day when Shannon and Anneke walked in, but I’ve no doubt vegetables took center stage. Anneke, Shannon, and Kaci embraced my fondness for all things vegetable as whole heartedly as any semi-normal 20-something college person could, with only the expected amount of jabbing. My fondness for the full spectrum of produce even made it into Anneke and Kaci’s toast for my wedding.

I’m going ‘home’ in a few days to celebrate family and Christmas and to perform my semi-annual reset in the farmhouse sunroom, where I will take in the dazzling morning light, open spaces, and cows over morning porridge. I’m super excited about a few things, and one of them is having a dinner party with Shannon and our fams. Last time we held a party, I was on a Middle-Eastern-themed-beet-tangent as well, so I made beet hummus and rose-flavored everything. I have come full circle as far as flavor combinations go so these beet flatbreads just might make an appearance. Luckily for me, I will be welcomed in to perfume Shannon’s home with the aroma of roasting beets.

Clearly, stinking up our house that winter afternoon was the right thing to do.

Beets, Flatbread, Tahini + Lentils, serves 4-6
There are many components to this recipe, making it somewhat labor-intensive. All the separate components save the flatbread can be made ahead and then reheated to eat with freshly made flatbread. On a rushed day, use purchased pita-type bread to serve instead.

Lentils
1 cup lentils
3 cups water
Juice from 1/2 a lemon
1 clove garlic, crushed
1/2 tsp. cumin
salt to taste

Roasted Beets
10 medium-size beets, tops and bottoms removed

Lemon-Tahini Cream
2 Tbs. tahini
1 1/2 Tbs. lemon juice
2-4 Tbs. water (as needed)
1 small garlic clove
Salt and pepper, to taste

Flatbread, adapted from Gluten-Free & Vegan Bread
1 Tbs. chia seeds
1/2 cup hot water
1/2 cup brown rice flour
1/2 cup garbanzo & fava flour
3/4 cup millet flour
1/4 cup amaranth flour
1/2 cup arrowroot starch
1/2 cup ground flax seed
1 tsp. salt
2 Tbs. extra virgin olive oil
1/2 Tbs. honey
3/4-1 cup warm water

Hazelnuts + Toppings
1 Tbs. extra virgin olive oil
dash of ground allspice
2 bay leaves
1/8 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/4 cup toasted hazelnuts, coarsely chopped
1/8 tsp. salt
Dried dill, for sprinkling
Dried rose petals, for sprinkling

Bring lentils and water to boil in a medium saucepan. Turn down to a simmer and cook for 20-30 minutes, until soft. Remove from the heat and stir in the remaining ingredients. Set aside.
Halve or quarter beets. In a large piece of foil, wrap all of the beets and roast in an oven, preheated to 400 degrees F, for 45-60 minutes. Check part way through for doneness, by opening up the foil bundle and stabbing with a fork. The beets should be tender all the way through. When done, remove from the oven and let cool slightly. Then, slice them into smaller pieces.
For the Lemon-Tahini Cream, puree all the ingredients in a food processor. Add additional water or lemon juice, to reach the desired taste and consistency.
In a small sauté pan, heat oil over medium heat. Add spices and bay leaves and cook until the spices start to smell warm and toasted, about 4-5 minutes. Remove from the heat and stir in the hazelnuts and salt. Set aside.
To make the flatbread, soak the chia seeds in the ½ cup water for at least 15 minutes. In a large bowl, combine the flours, flax seeds, and salt. In a separate bowl, combine the oil, honey, ¾ cup warm water and chia-mixture. Stir together and then add this liquid mix to the dry ingredients. Stir until it comes together with a wooden spoon. The dough should be fairly wet, so add more water if needed. Heat a cast iron skillet over medium heat. While the skillet is heating, divide the dough into 8 pieces and roll out each one on a counter, using brown rice flour to keep it from sticking. Each piece should be roughly 6 to 8 inches in diameter. Don’t worry about getting them perfectly symmetrical. As each piece of dough is rolled out, transfer to the skillet and cook on each side for about 4 minutes. Some of the edges will brown and crisp up; this is normal. As each flatbread is done, transfer to a warm oven until they are all cooked.
To serve, spread tahini cream onto the flatbread, top with lentils, sliced beets, and hazelnuts. Garnish with rose petals and dill.

Autumn, Winter

Garam Masala + Winter Squash Breakfast Porridge

December 7, 2014March 19, 2015by Rebecca3 Comments

If my hair looks slightly more orange than usual, it’s because I’ve been eating winter squash every meal of every day for the past four plus weeks.

Oh. Wait. The hair is actually going back to being blondish-orange, just like when I was five. By that I mean I’ve been plucking gray hairs with a vengeance because apparently two years past the quarter-century mark, and the aging process has progressed significantly. What’s more, I carry a heating pad around to warm my old-lady bones most days, and the stair handrails at work are especially useful for pulling my body up to the fourth floor office.

Okay. Slighht exaggeration. Turns out I can be lazy and dragging myself up the stairs is the best way to get to the top given the no-elevator-unless-more-than-three-minutes-late-to-an-important-meeting policy I’ve implemented. Heating pad story is true though(!) Okkkkay let’s skip the eye rolls and aging talk and get to this winter-squash porridge, now please.

There may be a fair amount of recipes for mornings in this space, but most are never eaten for breakfast!

I love breakfast foods, but I grew up regularly eating Stink Bug Porridge, aka oatmeal with raisins, and I’m ruined forever to anything but porridge-y foods in the morning. Don’t ask how my dad giving it that terrible nickname led me to beg for oatmeal even more.

William and I eat oats most mornings and though he never deviates from his stink bugs, I’m constantly changing up the ingredients, depending on the season. Lately I’ve been see-sawing between pears and pumpkins, always adding a bit of spice. I was inspired by this pie that uses Garam Masala, but since pie is not exactly an everyday food around here and our Thanksgiving last week involved pie eaters that favor traditional flavors like Chocolate pudding(?!?), porridge was a better bet to experiment with.

So…most other breakfasty items actually get rebranded as dessert. Don’t get me started, people that know me. Yes, I consider healthified muffins and granola dessert. Also, eating bacon earlier than 4pm should be outlawed and breakfast sausage is just not my thing. I knowwww. Girl grew up on a cattle ranch and can happily eat mostly-vegan for weeks at a time. So weird.

My siblings often joke about my first memory, age two, of being dropped on my head off a horse (a story for another day!), and if it weren’t for William being so completely normal–aka eating real dessert and bacon for breakfast–my parents would probably disown me.

Garam Masala + Winter Squash Porridge, serves 1

If you’re new to experimenting with these spices, start with less and add more to taste. I’m going to begin with only a dash of each to my dad’s Christmas stink bugs in a couple weeks… ;)

1/2 cup thick rolled oats, certified gluten-free if necessary

1 cup water

1 cup roasted winter squash

1/4 tsp. garam masala

pinch ground cardamom

dash cloves

dash salt

1 Tbs. ground flax or pumpkin seeds

Stevia, honey, brown sugar, or sweetener of choice

In a small saucepan, boil water, and then add oats and winter squash.
Turn down to medium heat and cook until most of the liquid is absorbed and the oats are tender, about 8 minutes. If the squash does not readily break apart, mash it with the back of a spoon.
Stir in the spices and seeds and turn into a serving bowl. Add sweetener to taste.